Narcissism Lovers of Self
Topic: Narcissism Lovers of Self
By David Cox
My Tract on PC50 Narcissism versus Love
Narcissism is an unhealthy love of self. It is a focus that puts self’s interests and benefits above and beyond the needs of others. This is not the kind of love that God is. God sacrifices himself and his own for the benefits of others. God’s love is pure. It is good for all involved because even Jesus who dies on the cross is seen as receiving glory for himself because of his selfless love for mankind.
There is a matter of priorities in one’s thinking. God wants us to “get out of ourself”, that is to give up our own welfare for the welfare of others. Essentially this is what God is. God sacrificed Jesus on the Cross for our welfare, and this was a magestic manifestation of the nature of God.
Sin: Our Problem, Selfishness
So humans have a basic problem, and that is that they sacrifice the will of God (obedience to God’s will) in order to please themselves. This comes with our nature now that all humanity has fallen into sin, and as a consequence we think nothing of living our lives for ourselves.
The world (like Psychology) explains man’s problem as being a low self-esteem. But the Bible puts the problem on the other end of the spectrum, an exalted view of one’s self.
Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
The world shouts out that our rights are being infringed upon, and that to solve our problems we must “take back” control of our lives, and assert ourselves as being master’s of our own life. We must be proud of ourselves, however we are, and we must push ourselves and our agenda forward, crushing any who would stand in our way. Low self esteem is seen as a primordial sin that must be dealt with swiftly, firstly, and powerfully.
The world has no room or concept where humility and meekness is seen as good in any sense, except as easy marks for tramping over others in your self assertion. But God has a different view, commanding exactly that.
Jas 4:9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Jas 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
Instead of “fun” and “happiness” (laughter/joy), we should be stressed and pressed under the pressures of life. The reality of one’s realizing that life is full of problems, and they come at the hand of God, God is doing something good in our lives by bringing in bad stuff. Humble yourself. This is the command of God. Unfortunately we don’t do that. We exalt ourselves instead.
Who are you?
The world prides itself on a couple of key points. We start with evolution. I came from a monkey that came from a worm that came from an ameoba, that came from two molecules bumping together. That is called super-bootstrapping. Bootstrapping is a concept that when there is nobody else to help you in a problem, you fix it yourself without anybody’s help. The underlying thought here is that God doesn’t help us, and we are independent of God’s control, help, cursing, and even knowledge. We are totally independent of God.
1Cor 4:6 And these things, brethren, I have in a figure transferred to myself and to Apollos for your sakes; that ye might learn in us not to think of men above that which is written, that no one of you be puffed up for one against another. 1Cor 4:7 For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?
The key concept here is that we have nothing to boast of, from God’s perspective. There is no such thing as a bootstrap, where you pull yourself into a greater or more beneficial position without the help of God. Moreover, the controversy between evolution and creation is one of authority of the Creator over his creation. If evolution is true and God doesn’t exist, then we don’t have to listen to any pretended statements from God, because God is not true (according to the evolutionist). If creation is true, then we are responsible to God, and one day we will answer to God for what we do.
Jas 4:13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Jas 4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. Jas 4:15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. Jas 4:16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
Again, God insists that we bring daily life into a connection with a God that takes interest, controls, helps, hinders, or even destroys things in our daily life. Life for us is the greatest, but God sees us in a context of billions and billions of years, and even then, God is greater than that. He “puffs at us” which are but a vapor, and soon to disappear from the face of earth. Even in evolution’s timeline, we are insignificant in comparison to the lengths of time they talk about. Yet they still boast to have come to truth by their own genius, leaving God out altogether.
Self love is wrong
In general self love is wrong. There is a certain “taking care of ourselves” that is biblical and commanded. It is normal for a person to feed himself, to take care of himself, and to tend to the normal needs of his own body. Although Jesus did fast, he did eat also. He took care of his body.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
In times past, there were groups that inflicted pain and suffering upon their own bodies actually destroying parts of it by cutting, piercing, or otherwise doing harm to themselves. This is totally wrong and a false extreme that is not what the Bible speaks of in this opposite of “self-love”.
What does Humility “do for us”?
Ps 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted (humbled); that I might learn thy statutes.
When we understand that through humility (affliction, suffering, and pain even persecution are all good things to work a spiritual work within us) is good for us, then we can handle life as God wants us to do so. We understand the principles of God when we accept a sovereign God over us, directing and controling our daily lives, both for good and for “bad” or evil things that happen.
Isa 2:11 The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day.
Luke 14:11 For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
There is a great sin in man that God fights to remove from our lives. This sin is the sin of arrogrance and haughtiness. It is the very sin we talk of, the sin of living life without concept or entrance of God into the thinking and affairs of our life. It is an excellent counter-practice to say a prayer of thanks before each meal, because we thank God three times a day. We also should practice thanksgiving much more than just on Thanksgiving day. That should be our daily, constant attitude.
God takes it as a personal challenge against him to put down the arrogant man. God will abase him, because it is God that he is striking against in his independence.
1Pet 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
God will allow us to be exalted one day under certain conditions, and that is in the final day of judgment, which will be extended through eternity. The condition is when we obey God, not for any other achievement we have done. Our faithful service to God, and this is specifically directed into doing the work of God, being holy, and Christian service to others (everybody in general, more so for those in need like the widows, orphans, people who have no other recourse in life), especially what we do for our Christian brethren.
God’s Remedy for Self Love
Matt 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. Matt 22:38 This is the first and great commandment. Matt 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
What we must understand is that without love, we are not saved. Love is an essential attribute or element of salvation. Without love, we cannot understand, comprehend, nor have the salvation of our soul.
But love, as that element in God’s nature, is love towards someone outside of our own self. God commands us (as our central commandment of all commandments) is to love God first and foremost, and this is seen by how we love other people.
Matt 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Matt 16:25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
We need to understand what love is, and how we “do love”. Love is not sex. It is far from that. Love is simply making another person’s life better, “pretty”, pleasant, or any other thought along that way. Love is sending a warm card to a friend, giving a girl or you wife or your mother a flower. Doing some good deed for somebody, especially if they are under duress, stress, or needing.
Love is a denying of the pursuit of our own pleasures for a time and spending the resources of our life on getting somebody else’s life happy or at least happier than it was before we started. This is the basic task that God is throwing at us, as our life’s mission.
At the same time, we cannot separate this from reality of life, that nobody’s life is really going to be better without being saved. Our thrust and compassion for evangelism, missions (and church planting as completely the work of God) is rooted in this same thing, a profound desire to see other people come under the blessings of God.
Holiness and piety also come into play, because as we are holy, we do good works. Our character is like that of Jesus Christ, and this also makes blessings in the lives of everybody around us. Sin causes hurt and damage (physical and spiritual) involved in our sins. Moreover, every sin that others see you do damages them by setting a sinful precedent in their minds. People are impressionable, and each time they see you sin, they are that much closer to doing the same thing themselves. People growing up where there was wife abuse or child abuse, even though not directly to them, are much, much more likely to fall into the same behavior as adults themselves. Children of alcoholics are much more prone to drink in adult life.
Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
To be saved is a commitment to remove self from the throne of your life, and put God with his love of others in its place. Jesus is meek and lowly of heart (Mat 11:29). This is HIS way.
God highlights our sacrificial service as our goal. (Mat 20:26-27; 23:11-12; Luke 22:24-27; Phil 2:3). We actually find biblical, correct, God declared acceptable glory for ourselves in humbling ourselves and serving others.
1Co 10:24 Let no man seek his own, but every man another’s wealth.
The only biblical attitude is to seek the good of others, lowering and removing the selfish self exalting attitudes of Narcissists. We are not to love ourselves as the end goal of all. We are not to seek luxury and pleasures, riches untold for our own self. What we are able to accumulate in life is to serve God, and this means showing biblical love in a community called the local church. Our love is to be especially directed towards other Christians who likewise ascribe to this love principle.
Jn 13:16 Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. Jn 13:17 If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
Christ ordered his followers to follow his example of service and love of others. This is a ideological fight against the hatred and hurting Satan has for all others. That is his plan, but God’s plan is love and benefit.
Rom 15:1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
Self-pleasing ourselves is simply corrupt. It is what Satan is through and through. Our modern society has fully embracing the culture of pleasure for one’s self. This is the God of America today! Notice the “selfie” culture. Not only do people spend their life and all the resources they have on pleasure, they must flaunt that living in pleasure before others who cannot or do not have the means to do the same. This has Satan’s handiwork written all over it.
John 12:25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.
This attitude towards “life” is a clear indicator of whether you are even saved or not. Christ put this strong statement in such a way that it truly makes one think. We are not to hate ourselves and try to do harm to ourselves. But the difference between “loving the good life” which this world has to offer and a Christian’s attitude is so distant that it would seem as though we hate this life. Actually we do. We are living in a world of sin, and Christians, true Christians, are people who are pilgrims and strangers here in this life, and we look above waiting and hoping deeply for that which is better in heaven. We and all creation “groan” under the burden of sin, awaiting something better, something different. We cannot “live the good life” here because we believe God, and thereby we believe this is not the good life, but after death, that is when the good life really begins.
Rom 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
These eternal truths, if meditated on, if comprehended, if fully believed will “sober us up”. It will make us reserved in the pursuit of this life’s pleasures and “good things”. It will put perspective and attitude into us such that we live for eternity, and hold lightly to the things of this life.